Fetch Ramblings

The ramblings of a Pakistani teenager. SO fetch, right? (Yes I'm aware that this blog is a cliché.)

Am I an Adult?

brunch for every meal

Like I said in yesterday’s post, I turned 25 this month, and it’s strange because I still feel like I’m in high school. It’s not like I’m clinging to youth or anything, in fact, I’m excited to turn 30 in the near future. I’ve found that every six months or so I become a little less of an asshole, so I’m hoping by 30 I’ll be a real hip woman in charge of her own destiny, getting her clothes tailored, not eating as much processed foods, the whole thing.


But for now, I can’t tell- am I an adult? Let’s look at the evidence:

ADULT: I have aged out of eligibility to be on The Real World because apparently 25 is too old to catch syphilis in a hot tub while you experiment with your sexuality. What if I’m a late bloomer, huh, MTV?

NON-ADULT: Still too young to be…

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Poem: Craving Infinity ∞

Within the bounds of mortality
The falling of the sand
The ticking of the clock
It is the inevitable, the unavoidable

Within the bounds of mortality
Man craves the infinite
The ability to be greater
Than what fate dictates

Within the bounds of mortality
We console our soles
Mark the world with tales
Leaving behind legacies

Within the bounds of mortality
We are suffocated
By life and its tight grip
The hold it maintains

Daily Prompt: Unexpected

It can’t be
But it is
A muffled voice in the distance informs me
Who does this voice think it is?
Whispering words that can’t be
In a frenzy
My brain reject and accepts the words I hear
But most important of all
It thinks of the last words said
What could have caused this
Obviously yourself
Who else is capable of such destruction
You know your demons
That are far darker and sinister than any other’s
It isn’t about the words of love I said
But every ounce of ire
That my tongue may have let slip
There is no taking back
The voice has won
But no one else has.

We are all in t…

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
– Oscar Wilde

Aaaaah, I love this man. 

I am a girl. So what?

Growing up in Pakistan, it is no surprise that society has always provided me with lots to think about where my gender is concerned. On one hand, theres the women that dare. Dare to rise above, dare to fight and dare to be whatever they want. And coming from the admittedly elitist strata that I do, these women are looked upon as something awe inspiring, something beautiful to be looked at and admired. These aren’t Malalas I’m talking about here. These are corporate power houses, the kind of women that strike fear into your bones with a single pointed glare (à la Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada). Shocking as it may be to someone from the West reading this, these women are found abundantly in Pakistan’s upper crust. The other narrative I had before me was given to me by what I have to come to think of as ‘Sweet Moms’. They’re nice women, they cook and they crack cute, clean jokes. Some cover their heads, others don’t but all have around and about the same, somewhat conservative views on life. Unfortunately, belonging to the class that I do, I never really met any extremely conservative, oppressed, A Thousand Splendid Sunsesque women. However, I still knew they were out there.

Obviously there are people that have found happy mediums but even then, society draws a distinct line between the liberal and the conservative where women are concerned. Around me, I’ve always seen women scrutinized in a way that men just are not. These divisions are solidified and ingrained so deeply within us that I’m sure some of us may go through life without realizing how much they affect our socialization. We take things as they come. For example, whenever theres a new girl in our class, the first question that pops into the head of my friends (and perhaps me too :|) is “Is she cool though?” Now you may ask, what is our definition of cool exactly? I never gave it much thought but just realized what we’re really thinking is, “I wonder if shes okay with having boyfriends and how far she goes with them. I wonder if shes okay with cracking dirty jokes and staying out just a tad bit later than other girls because you know, thats what sets us apart.” Do you see it? Do you see how being ‘liberal’ is more of an identity than a lifestyle? Do you see how we cling to it to be a someone rather than a no one? Do you see how problematic that is? Theres a lot of questions I’m not answering here but these are just all the things that came to my head after a failed attempt at cooking. 

What I mean to say is, is what we’re doing not intrinsically flawed? Is it not justifying all the labels the world strives to attach to women? “Slut”, “prude”, “whore”, “bitch”. Words which have the power to alter someone’s life. And we, women, are condoning it. Oh gosh, I think I’ve gone off on a tangent. More on this later! Stay tuned brethren and sister witch folk. (Wait is that a label? OH GOD.)

Life meet Girl

School has started guuuuys. Kill me now and make it painless. Chop chop. This year is the hardest school year of my life. My entire future depends on this year. I can not afford to fuck a single thing up. Which is why I haven’t been very active in terms of posting on my blogs as well. (Though this one hardly has any following so I doubt anyone out there has noticed or anything). I don’t really like whining about my routine in real life but HEY, you guys don’t know me so you’re my best friends. Gather round bitches, story time. Actually you know what. Its 12 a.m here and I am tired as fuck so I can’t into things. I really can’t. (Ahh doesn’t the ‘Ramblings’ in the title make SO much more sense now?)
So guys, I need to know what you guys want this blog to be centered around. Obviously my random posts such as these will continue. However, I’d like to have a bit more direction in terms of what to post when I feel guiltily inactive. So here are some options and I’d love (Bold AND Italic!) some feedback:

1) Relationship advice

2) Life How Tos e.g. get kickass grades, make a guy like you

3) Culture and political oriented posts

These are just a few examples of what I’m comfortable with. If you guys have any more suggestions, leave a comment and I’ll check them out. 

Btdubz, I’ll be posting a few short stories here and there as well but, again, due to the lack of free time I have, it’ll be a rare occurrence.

My Favorite Book Hotties

Just saw a list on this and realized I HAD to do my own. Except for the first, the list is in no particular order.

The first one is and will always be:
1. Mr.Darcy


Damn, dat quizzical brow. Mhmm. Gimme some of that. The original bookcrush in my opinion. This is the Mr.Darcy from my favorite movie version which I’ve watched more times than I could manage to count. Mr.Darcy is everything a girl could ask for. Shy in that strong, silent type of way. Changed for the better out of love for the girl he wants. Surprisingly honest at times, leaving you a little breathless. Love him so much. Will end up as a spinster if I can not find a man who lives up to him.

2. Will Herondale


Is there anything hotter than a tortured English boy? I doubt it. I really do. Will won me over. The Infernal Devices is probably one of my favorite series EVER (and I do not say this lightly). Black haired, blue eyed boys are my Kryptonite. And hes into literature, omfg does Cassandra Clare KNOW what this does to my insides? I shipped Wessa till the end which is why the ending of Clockwork Princess was kind of a let down for me. Don’t get me wrong, its one of the most captivating books I’ve read in a really long time and I absolutely love it. I just, well, I started bawling when Will turned old and passed away. A part of me died with him and I don’t think that part will ever recover. Not fully anyway.

3. Tobias ‘Four’ Eaton


Yeah, I know I know they’ve already casted someone else as Four but idk. I always pictured my Four something like this. So MY fantasy, my casting k? Again, the strong, silent type. What drew to me to Tobias in particular is his aversion to mushy stereotypes. He can see that Tris isn’t the fairest of them all yet he likes her. I mean, don’t get me wrong, if I ever do have a guy of my own (someday ok) I want him to be COMPLETELY in love with me and think I am a sex goddess. Yet, the not so romantic, realist side of me can’t help but find his personality refreshing in a sea of loverboys.

4. Étienne St. Clair


This isn’t exactly what I had in mind for him but I’m kind of in a time crunch. I am so, so, so in love with Monsieur St, Clair. He is probably the most genuinely funny male protagonist I have ever been blessed enough to come across. And so sweet. Reading about him makes me want to curl up in ball because I know I’ll never find anybody like him. I’d go out and buy a few dozen cats but um I’m not really a big fan of animals. In the words of Anna Oliphant, he can touch anything of mine he wants. I didn’t really like Lola and the Boy Next Door but I read it solely and greedily for brief glimpses at my Étienne. (Favorite seen in the entire book? When Étienne says “MIIIIIINE” and wrestles Anna into a hug.) If you aren’t in love with him yet, I’d seek professional help. Really. (By the way, am I the only one DYING over “Isla and the Happily Ever After“?)

5. Jace Herondale


Alex Pettyfer is my Jace. He will always be my Jace. Jamie Campbell is irrelevant to my life, okay? Glad we’ve cleared that out. (Please don’t argue with me. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.) Ah, Jace, our sweet angel boy. Sarcastic badass with an endearing vulnerable side we rarely catch glimpses of. A descendant of Will in every way. Who could blame us for falling for him? Thank you Miss Cassandra Clare for giving us these glorious boys to pine over. We really are eternally indebted.

6. Michael Moscovitz


This guy but buffer. Omg, do you remember the days? The Princess Diaries days? Well, mine never ended. I am still as hopelessly in love with Michael as I was when I first had the pleasure of meeting him. Broody, dark, handsome and brilliant. Plays the guitar and well, I WATCHED HIM GROW UP. Hes kind and patient and well I love him so I might be just a teensy bit biased. Guys please reread the tenth Princess Diaries book. It’ll take you back. It’ll make you swoon. And if you haven’t read the series at all, go shoot yourself. Seriously.


GUYS, I’ve just realized I can not finish this list and do justice to all my loves. This is just a sampler, okay?

How To: Attain Popularity

Right so, I was just reading this mind numbing novel about some girl who wants to be in the ‘In-Crowd’ so bad that it was truly pity inspiring. As someone who has always had some sort of power in her school’s social hierarchy, it really got me thinking. The girl often asks herself questions like “How do the beautiful people do it?” And she treats them as if they are the sole processors of some ancient secret that she can never be privy to. Well, I’ve decided to give it up. 


UNFORTUNATELY, there isn’t much to give up.


I am undeniably one of the most popular girls in my school. I have no shame in admitting this. And THAT kids is step number one. Execute confidence and the world will assume you have something to be confident about. Yes children, it really is that easy. Note: Being confident is not synonymous with being intimidating. If you’re just this unapproachable person, no ones going to really LIKE you. Be the kind of person that everyone and anyone can approach. Be everybody’s bff. Learn to keep secrets. Being a nice, happy person genuinely works wonders for your social life. Be the life of every party. When the time is appropriate, be loud and funny. No one likes a pissy little bitch whose far too afraid to have a little fun. Which leads me onto something that I realized whilst reading this book. It never occurred to me before but looking at this pathetic excuse for a character, I saw one big to difference between the Yeses and the Nos. The popular kids are CONSTANTLY reeming each other out. They bear it and get over it. Learn to laugh at yourself and others. You’re a freaking teenager. Politeness (at least with your peers) should not be a concern. Do learn that there are limits to how much fun you can make of someone and how much you should be able to take. This also depends on your level of intimacy with these people. Do not just show up uninvited at their table and start joking like you’re old pals from yesteryear. Work your way up there. This sort of social awareness comes with time as you learn to identify situations and your friends.  By the way, I’d just like to add that being popular does not mean doing something that goes against your moral values. Though my friends do various drugs, smoke and partake in regular intercourse (which ew like you’re 15 shutup and eat your cereal), I have NEVER done a single one of these things. Heck, I’ve never had a boyfriend or kissed or whatever. I’m religious like that. However, I don’t judge my friends and they don’t judge me. If the populars in your school are the type to pressure you, you’re better off not being friends with those losers anyway.

As for looks, well, they do matter. Smiling pretty helps. However, learn to have appropriate attire for every occasion. For school, just find some v necked tees that aren’t too tight and that you look good in. Add dark rinse or black skinnies to ANY t-shirt and just make sure you look good. Don’t overdo the make up in school. Please. Its a personal pet peeve for me. I allow you to use some concealer, a little lipstain and mascara. No more. For parties, I’d say avoid dresses. Go with colored skinnies and nice top from Forever21. Again, do not overdose on the makeup. No one, I repeat, no one likes an orange, bleached blonde pancake. So no, you don’t have to look glamorous. You just have to look presentable and feel good about yourself. Thats all anyone’s asking of you.

Any questions? Feel free to ask in the comments and I’ll try getting back to you.

A little intro and all that jazz.


Don’t hate me coz you ain’t me yo. Sorry had to get that out there. So..hi. I’m a 16 year old Pakistani girl. I live in Lahore and thats all the personal information you’re getting out of me, okay? (My mother has instilled me a very strong fear of online predators. I’d beware if I were you, jusssayin’.) As you may have noticed, I have a thing for mean girls, but that really is irrelevant to my personality so whatever, moving on. The reason behind me making this blog is because its 3:43 a.m, its raining outside, I was bored and needed a form of expression. I’ve been thinking about making a blog for some time now but usually my Facebook notifications kept me to entertained to do so. Today? Not so much. Hopefully this isn’t just a fad and I’ll stick it out. I mean, I do have a Tumblr blog but thats mostly for obsessing over Sherlock and whatnot. More importantly, that is a blog my friends know about. I want this blog to be completely anonymous. This will hopefully be my outlet to let out all that teen angst I’ve got bottled up inside me. This will be the place where I don’t have to care about social expectations or omg what if he knows this is about him. Here? I can discuss him to within an inch of his life and get away with it. Image
Right about here, I’d just like to add that half my life consists of memes. I often talk in meme language. Just wanted to put that out there. What else would I say about myself if I didn’t have to give a crap about being modest hmm? (Modesty isn’t a trait I have in abundance but COME ON. Like I wouldn’t show modesty while INTRODUCING myself to someone.) Well, I’m really into Global politics. I have very strong opinions on social issues most of the world is faced with. OH, I’m Muslim but, as long as I’m being honest, not a very good one. This is not something I’m proud of. I love my religion very much. I would like it very much if I could break some Pakistani stereotypes with this blog. And thats all for now folks! Stay tuned.


(I am sorry for the sheer lameness  of this post but you don’t know me so I really don’t give a crap about what you may think of me. Do give my future posts a read though. I’ll grow on you, trust me.)


Start wherever …

Start wherever you are and start small.

Rita Baily

They say words have power, but I’ve yet to see my words have any impact on the word whatsoever. If they DO have power, mine certainly need to do some push ups. Here’s hoping this blog will have some, if any, readership. And not like hateread. Reading and understanding that my plight is what it is and maybe, and God this is a long shot, relating to it. Knowing that you’re not alone. Thats all the power I ask for.